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About Not Being Able To Move On

You have probably heard this thing before, same old... same old. I am still listening to my favorite Typecast tracks and those soundtracks t...

You have probably heard this thing before, same old... same old. I am still listening to my favorite Typecast tracks and those soundtracks that might have had pushed me to think of her again. I thought I'd already forgotten her. But in reality, she'll always be there. And everytime I remember an ounce of something I'd recognize or something I can identify with her, there I go again.

She's my ecstasy. The more I want to get rid her out of my system, the more I'm drowning into it. I adore her and nothing's gonna change that. Absolutely nothing. For four years, I still can't recover from the thoughts of she, and I, forever. When even the conclusion of this dream will always be that I can only have her as much as my dreams would allow me to.

A lot of people say I'm not that falling-in-love guy type. I don't care. They can judge me and tell me everything they want but who cares. And the truth is that from the moment I'd realize I love her, until now, that's the same feeling. I know its hard to believe me, but this girl knocks me off my feet. This girl is love.

You don't know how much reading your messages mean to me and its the only thing I've got and you don't even do it anymore. Its not obligatory but I want them back. Those times that we can only talk about anything and everything about our daily lives.

I got addicted with your existence and now that you're completely gone, I'm lost. Even my friends tell me that, I have lost myself for not doing everything I can. I have lost myself from you. I felt numb that you would not even caring to know how I feel. So I stay numb and dumb and stupid.

I just feel suicidal, but I know I can survive. [Hey, I still have to take three more years of math and physics :) All those engineering thingy] I'm strong and I know that this love might have to take ages to shoo away. Maybe a whole lifetime won't even be enough to hide this feelings, and set them aside.

I'd try to focus on attaining success first now, so that when I'm all wealthy and rich. I can do all I want and give her all that she deserves.

I just love you. I know. I just do.
And it hurts not to know if you're okay or not.

I hope he takes care of you.
--
I was born to tell you I love you, I was torn to do what I have to.
To make you mine, be with me tonight.

--

P.S. And that's me being stupid again. And that's me not being able to escape from her shadows. And that's me who's willing to live his life alone just to hold my promise that you're the only girl I truly love. Until my dying day. And even if you wouldn't care, at least I held on long to my promise enough to make my life worth living. :(



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